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Some of the goofy and wacky stuff that my mind has been serving up for consideration whilst staring at the ceiling during the overnight hours …

Why is the third hand on a clock called the second hand?

Do hummingbirds hum because they forgot the lyrics?

When you feed a baby with a spoon, why do you open your mouth? (Grammy Nat, do you do it too?)

Do viruses get sick?

What if Hell was not fire and brimstone, instead it was people standing in shit soup up to their lower lip – would their motto be “don’t make waves”?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why does bottled water have an expiry date?

If you completely forget something, how do you know if you ever knew it?

If two police officers get married, do they replace traditional vows with reading each other their Miranda rights?

Would a procrastinators support group ever have a meeting?

I’m not lazy, I’m fuel efficient.

I never fail … I succeed at finding what doesn’t work.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

We’re told we shouldn’t eat at night – so why is there a light in the fridge?

Are ghosts lousy liars because you can see through them easily?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? (Told ya I was a word nerd!)

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced tenty-one?

What hair colour do they put on the driver’s licences of bald men?

If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and tree surgeons debarked?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don’t know, don’t care.

If you don’t use your hoover, is it still gathering dust?

Love, sunbeams, lots of giggles, and kitten dreams.

Christine 💙💙