Cuarenta y Nueve, 49 for 49

Tags

Celebration, First Responders, Grief, Healing, In This Together, Love is Love, Orlando 49, Pulse Nightclub

This past weekend, I had a note from my friend, my family member, my Sisbro, Joie Lamar, “Hey Sis, want to meet up for lunch on Monday? I have received a few more Contributor copies of Cuarenta y Nueve, and I’ll have your book and Danielle’s book to give to you.” Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, hell yeah, I would not miss this for the world!

Many of us will vividly remember the events on the morning of 12 June 2016. I described much of it in the piece I wrote for the book. Joie had a vision, a work created by 49 artist-contributors, one for each of the souls violently ripped from this existence that evening at Pulse Nightclub. Late 2016/early 2017, the call went out. First to a core group, and we all knew people who would be magnificent for this project, and in what seemed the blink of an eye, we had 49 ready to represent 49.

And yet, ‘project’ seems to be inadequate in describing 49 hearts, beating as one, an artistic tribute to our 49 family members lost… because witnessing this unfold throughout the intervening time has been truly inspiring to watch.

And, of course, doing some encouragement along the way, especially when confronted with that fallback line from some folks, “But, I can’t write/sing/create… I’m not any good at that!”

They don’t know what they are up against when dealing with this City Mom! I have recently had a similar conversation with a friend of mine whom I love to the ends of the universe and back. She has convinced herself that she doesn’t know how to write, can’t create, etc. I said to her, let me tell you the inside secret about writing honey… the person who sits down to read your arrangement of words and pages, they literally have the same request your kids did every night when you were putting them to bed, “Tell me a story, please!” I write in the same conversational style that I would if we were sitting across the table in Starbucks having coffee, or having lunch and sharing stories of our recent activities. And she went home and created a right proper kick-ass piece of writing that got raves in her writing class, and I was right chuffed to hear the result!

I have used a similar approach when teaching as well. Reduce it to basics, and one step at a time, you see you can do it with ease, and before you realize, you have perfected that concept and let’s expand on the next item. In my world, nothing breaks my heart more than hearing from people who have a lifetime’s experience of hearing “you can’t,” instead of “you can,” because it greatly reduces the realm of possibility that they could be living into and growing beyond.

I remember doing a national news interview the day following the Pulse massacre. I’m told I come up with some quotable items when I’m speaking from the heart and not from some prepared script as many fall back on, as I saw after the interview aired on CBC’s The National that evening (and as friends picked out above).

These are just some of the events from June 2016, you can read more in this post that I published last year on the first anniversary of the massacre where I discussed some of the events from that Sunday and the week that followed.

So… imagine my excitement!! I have written for many publications or have been interviewed for others over the years, but this was my first time being part of a real physical book! And of course, I checked out the two contributions, one from my bestie Danielle (I thought it was important to have the voice of an LGBTQ police officer in the book), and my own. The pictures give you an idea of what the two-page spread looks like, but if you want to read the words, you’ll have to buy a copy of the book (sorry, not sorry).

And, you do not want to miss the outstanding work of all 49 artist-contributors in this book! I have read it through cover to cover a couple of times since returning home on Monday, and I am beyond honoured to have been asked to be a part of such an amazing group of artists.

Now, the only payment the 49 artists receive for our contribution… you see it above, we received a copy of the 1st edition hardcover print run (SOLD OUT!!). 100% of the proceeds from the sales of Cuarenta y Nueve are donated in perpetuity to Pride School Atlanta and GLAAD. It is our hope that through education – understanding, acceptance, and love, will become the way we always interact with our fellow humans.

We continue to say their names, their 49 chairs remain empty at our family table.

And a reminder that we are all HUMAN, the only label that really matters.

You can purchase your copy of the 2nd edition hardcover of Cuarenta y Nueve at Blurb

And, the softcover edition of Cuarenta y Nueve is available at Amazon.

I am truly proud of this book and the collection of artists I am among within its covers.

And yes, I have at least one, perhaps two, books coming within the next year or so. (Or I’ll get “the look” from my kid sister!)

Raising the rainbow flag on top of Toronto Police Headquarters for the first time in their 183 year history, 1 June 2017.

A Note Received, Causing Many Smiles

Tags

Advocacy, C-PTSD, Education, Ending the Stigma, Feedback, First Responders, In This Together, Inspiration, Mental Health, PTSD

Every now and then kittens, I sit and ponder, is what I am doing currently reaching those who need to hear that they are not alone? There are famous voices, media personalities, instant name recognition, well-known advocates, and when they speak they draw a big audience. I could always go and do something else, write about other things, look for new interests. It’s never fun when I’m in my head and talking to myself!

Then, I am reminded of past experiences. I shared a few of these stories with treasured friends recently, and I won’t go into as much detail here as I did with them, but these are those lives that mattered. One was a young person who I mentored for a few years to help get a pet project off the ground and grow the audience for it. He asked me once, “Why me? Of all the people you meet, what was it about me that had you invest that much time?” I’m familiar with such questions. I told him, “Because Honey, when I met you, I saw myself. I saw myself at that age and knew the struggles you had been through. I knew you before I met you, that’s why.” He is still doing the most amazing things, has really come into his true self, and for a young person so wracked by anxiety from years of constant vile and vicious bullying in all forms, had me crying tears of joy the day he stood in an arena and told his story to 7,000 people. I will be eternally proud of him and all that he does, including his work as an ambassador for a kids assistance organization. One of my many “kids”.

Or another, who speaking to a packed room of 400 people at a feature event, told them her story. I’ve shared pieces of it in my lectures before, but have never told all of it, it’s been her story to tell first, and I would not say a word of this until she had publicly. Well, this was her night to do just that. I was seated with other media, I was covering the event for a magazine I wrote for, and you could have heard a pin drop as she spoke. She told the story of how we met, and how if things were not busy, and we were not each rushing off to do something else, we would spend a bit of time and chat. Again, I knew her before she realized it. I had sensed (that Empath thing!) where she was at and what was going on and was picking up on her language/choice of words. She had questions, I knew, and I had the answers, and I encouraged her to not be shy, but to ask anything she wanted, and I would do my best to answer it as fully as I could. And then came the very revealing piece, she told the audience that she had been in a very dark place at that time, and was on the verge of suicide, and had entertained the idea more than a few times… but our chats were what showed her that she was not alone, she wasn’t the only one, there are more of us than she thought. By this time, my best friend’s wife is squeezing the life out of my left hand, and a friend behind me has her hand on my shoulder, and then the final line came, “Christine took an interest in me, and she saved my life. Thank you.” The room erupted in applause, I’m on the verge of tears and fighting hard not to let it show, I’m getting hugs from all sides, and I had to fight the urge to go and give her a hug in front of 400 people. I get a tweet from my best friend and work partner Danielle, who was at the back of the room, “that’s why you have such an important voice”. People came up after the event concluded, and to a person all of them started with the same words, “I never knew…” to which I replied, “You wouldn’t know, I don’t talk about these things, I just do them.” She is another of my “kids” (I have hundreds from over the years). One more life still with us. It is why I do what I do.

And then this afternoon, I received this note, and I’ve been smiling away to myself ever since. Shared this with my kid sister Natalie, and a few treasured friends:

Hey Christine, just wanted to let you know about a little gathering I have started about PTSD as well as other mental health issues. The reason you got an invite? You know your shit when it comes to mental health lol! Well done you 🙂 If you decide to have a look at our little after party, I would be honoured if you would please post as much of your message as you feel conformable with. Just so you know, I’m already a HUGE fan of your work. 🙂 Once again, thank you so much for all you do for people. My only hope is more people find your message. Stay classy.

Any time I have spent recently wondering, is anybody listening, is that person who needs to hear/read this getting it – doubts erased! It is amazing what can happen when somebody reaches out and says thank you for what you do.

In the words of my correspondent, Stay classy! And don’t forget kittens, to LOVE each other INTENSELY.

Christine ❤️❤️